Not Another Teen Romance
by wastesotoxic
Summary: Alfred's childhood friend, Ivan, is coming to live in America for his final two years of highschool. When Ivan finally arrives, Alfred finds out that people aren't always what you remembered them to be. RussAme with others.
1. Chapter 1

theheroishere: so hey, ivan.

bigbrotherpipe: Alfred? What do you want?

theheroishere: oh, nothing, just heard you were coming back to america for school this year.

theheroishere: wanted to see if it was true.

theheroishere: dick.

bigbrotherpipe: Well, I am. Is that all you wanted to know?

theheroishere: russia . is it cold there? i hear it's cold there.

bigbrotherpipe: You don't miss me, do you, Alfred?

theheroishere: it's not that I miss you. it's just…haven't seen you in person since we were like, what, eight? It'd be cool to see you again. yeah.

bigbrotherpipe: I do miss how warm it was in America. Also I miss all of the wonderful flowers. Does your mom still keep up her sunflower garden?

theheroishere: yeah, they look great. we could, uh, give you some seeds when you come down so you could plant them around your new place!

Bigbrotherpipe: Thank you, Alfred. I would enjoy that.

Theheroishere: *thumbs up* Plus I get to see the rest of your family~

bigbrotherpipe: I'm sure Natalya will be delighted to see you again.

theheroishere: D:

bigbrotherpipe: :D

theheroishere: oh, very funny. you know she used to hate me because I hung around you so much.

theheroishere: then she had some sort of weird understanding with herself

theheroishere: and decided that she wouldn't mind two husbands.

bigbrotherpipe: I remember, Alfred. You wouldn't stop whining about it. It was fun seeing the adventurous Alfred F. Jones quiver at the sight of a girl.

bigbrotherpipe: She's definitely quieted down on wanting to get married. She still doesn't like it when I try to date (or look) at other women, though. Katyusha is more understanding.

theheroishere: oh man, if you're looking for a girlfriend, I KNOW I could find you one.

theheroishere: chicks would love you here.

bigbrotherpipe: Ah. And you consider yourself an expert on the…chicks?

theheroishere: Yes.

bigbrotherpipe: ….it's hard to tell if you're joking.

thehereishere: hey, girls love me! they fall for my goofy charm and good looks~

bigbrotherpipe: Also your modesty and humility, I presume?

theheroishere: of course, of course.

theheroishere: so everyone is doing good then? you pack everything you need?

bigbrotherpipe: We have. We should be in America on Thursday.

theheroishere: awesome!

theheroishere: well, it was good talking to you but mattie is yelling something about dinner.

bigbrotherpipe: Goodbye, Alfred.

theheroishere: bye!

_theheroishere has logged off.

So this is my weird idea for an AU fic that was inspired by a dream I had. The next parts won't consist entirely of messaging, it's only that I thought the introduction would be best done through IMs. A pairing that will definitely dominate this story is Russia/America, but there will be others. I hope you like this little introduction! ;_;


	2. Chapter TWO

_**Thursday, 06:21.**_

The sun was barely beginning to rise in the sky. Weak light filtered through the window of the cluttered room, illuminating the blond teenager that lay asleep in bed. At his side was a small stuffed animal, a cartoon polar bear with a dazed expression. The sleeping boy appeared peaceful, serene, mind filled with pleasant dreams. He didn't even stir when the door of the room was kicked open by another teen, one that could be his mirror image if it weren't for a few slight differences.

"Mattie, you've got to see what I've found!" A pause. "Oh, you aren't still asleep, are you?" No answer. He sighed, making his way across the room. "Matthew, wake up!" The teen demanded, jumping onto the sleeping boy. "Wake up! You've been asleep** all** day!"

". . ." Matthew squeezed his eyes shut. '_Go away, please. Go away… ' _He repeated the thoughts in his head like a mantra, but his brother was persistent. '_Why is it during the summer that Alfred can't sleep like a normal human? Why?' _Matthew sighed, sitting up. "Alright Al, just STOP jumping on the bed."

"Mmkay."

". . ." Matthew waited for his brother to tell him what amazing thing it was that was worth waking him up for. However, Alfred wasn't going to make things easy. After a few drawn out seconds of silence, with Alfred beaming at him, Matthew snapped: "Well, Al, what amazing thing did you find?" Or, at least, he intended to sound snappy and irritable but it came out in a sleepy mumble.

"Well, I—oh."

"Oh…? What was it, Alfred?"

"It was really cu—cool, and I think I might have dropped them when I was jumping!"

Matthew felt his neck tense up. "_Them? _What did you drop?"

"Well, I was walking around near the trailer park area, and I found this rattlesnake nest, and it had a bunch of lil' baby ones in it! So I decided to take some home and-"

Matthew lurched out of the bed, falling when his ankle became entangled with his blankets. "You brought rattlesnakes home? Why would you do that? God, do you want mom to kill you?" '_Do you want ME to kill you? '_

"Mom won't find out. She left for work already." Alfred said cheerfully, feeling around on the bed for the rattlesnakes. "Don't worry, once I find them I'll put them back outside. I just wanted to play with them for a while."

"Fine, just…just find them, okay? Find all of them. Oh, and don't let them bite you. Okay?"

"They're only babies, it wouldn't be anything serious. Their momma, on the other hand, probably has a pretty nasty bite. " Alfred whistled as his hand wrapped around a small wriggling body. "I found one. Alright, now all that's left is one more…"

"Hey Al?" Matthew was now seated on a teal bean bag. "I've got a question."

"Got it! Yeah, what?"

"What possessed you to jump on my bed holding rattlesnakes?"

"Baby rattlesnakes." Alfred corrected. "I don't know. I thought it'd be funny?" Alfred gazed on as the rattlesnakes twisted around his fingers. It was hard to be angry at someone with such a childlike face. Seeing this, Matthew was torn between annoyance and worry for his brother. "It got you up."

"Some spirit has to be watching over you, Al. Otherwise you'd be dead from all the stupid things you do." Matthew found he was more relaxed knowing where the snakes were, but he still wished that Alfred would hurry up and put them outside.

"What's that saying? Fortune favors the bold?" Alfred chuckled, still distracted by the snakes. "At least I'm not as bad as when I was little, hmm?"

"I think 'Fortune favors the foolish' is a better saying for you." Matthew took a look around his room, making a mental note to clean it later. It was still nothing compared to Alfred's room (which looked like a tornado had a field day) but it was far below his usual standards. '_Summer makes one lazy.' _"The only reason you aren't as bad is because mom killed all of the little 'friends' you brought in with you."

"Yeah…maybe it wasn't such a good idea to show her those scorpions."

"It also wasn't a good idea to show her the spiders, or the mice, or the mange infested mutts, or the oh-so-cute baby alligator. Please get off my bed with those things."

"You sound like mom more and more every day, you know that?"

"I suppose I can't help but let my sanity shine through in my speech. My apologies."

Alfred stood up, paying attention to the small reptiles in his hands. "I guess I'll forgive you. If you get me a bottle of honey, that is."

"Well, maybe if you buy me some more of my maple syrup that _you _guzzled down."

"Pfft_._ Hey, I'll be right back, so don't try to go back to sleep or something crazy like that."

"I would just lock the door as soon as you leave, but I've learned that doesn't stop you."

"Matthew?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I…love you too, Al. Is something wrong?'

"Nah, I just don't say it enough, is all."

It was moments like these, when Alfred was alone with him, when Alfred was so disarmingly cute, that made Matthew recall {begrudgingly} that he could never stay mad with Alfred for too long. '_If only he acted like this with other people. Maybe people like Arthur wouldn't get as pissy with him. _

…_Then again, Al enjoys making Arthur mad. '_

The alarm clock read _06:30_ in neon red letters. Matthew was not surprised.

_**Thursday, 13:34.**_

"I think he's asleep, let me check." Alfred covered the mouthpiece of the phone as he peeked into the living room. Matthew was curled up on the couch, glasses still on. Alfred walked to remove Matthew's glasses, setting them down on the table before uncovering the mouthpiece. "Yeah, he passed out in the middle of this one cartoon we were watching. I kinda woke him up early this morning."

"_Alfred, were you tormenting your brother?"_

"Tormenting is a really strong word to use, mom. I just wanted someone to spend time with. All my other friends are off on fancy foreign country vacations. Gilbert's mom DID offer me a chance to go with them to Germany, but **someone **said I couldn't go without Matt."

"_Are you still throwing a fit about that?" _

"No, no, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it without Mattie. Twins can't do anything without each other. It's a golden rule! Even though Matt can go off to Washington for a week when he has to give some speech on how smart he is. Alfred didn't have to go then-"

"_There is a difference between leaving for a week and leaving for two months, Alfred. If you keep going on about that I'll ground you. Is that what you want?"_

Alfred rolled his eyes. "No mom. I'll be good."

"_That's good. Well honey, I have to go. Make sure to tell Mrs. Braginsky hello for me."_

". . . What?"

"_Mrs. Braginsky. When you go to see your friend Ivan, remember? The friend who you wouldn't stop talking about when you found out he was going to go your school this year?"_

". . .Okay mom, this is absolutely unrelated to what you just said, but I remembered I promised to be somewhere. I'll talk to you later, okay?" Alfred hung up the phone.

Looking over at Matthew, he debated on whether or not he should wake him to drag him along. Deciding to be nice and let his brother sleep, Alfred scribbled a note on where he was, grabbed his worn bomber jacket, and ran out the door.

_**Thursday, 14:00**_

The home was actually quite pleasant. A bit larger than Ivan was expecting, but his mother seemed to think it was the perfect size. She was beautiful, with platinum blond hair and violet eyes that showed in her son. Ivan watched as she cut into another box filled with their belongings, chatting on about how wonderful she would make the house look to her children.

"We'll hang the flower paintings along the hallways. The family pictures will go up in the living room. Ah! This is the perfect house." Her lips curved into a perfect smile. "I can only hope you are all as happy with it as I am."

"It's lovely, мать." Ivan commented, moving aside curtains to glance out the window.

"It is lovely." Natalya echoed from a corner of the room, smiling softly over at Ivan. ". . .What are you looking for outside, brother?"

"Ah, well, do you remember Alfred?"

"I do."

"He said he would come to visit. Alfred went on about how he would be the first one to see us." Shutting the curtains, Ivan turned to rummage among the boxes for the ones he needed to take to his room. "I don't know if he'll be making it."

"Little Alfred Jones?" His mother inquired, carefully removing a sunflower painting from the boxes. "He was such a loud child, always going on about how he would grow up to be the hero. How is he?"

"He is fine. Matthew is fine as well."

"Who?"

Ivan bit back a laugh. "Alfred's brother. You might not recall him because he didn't come over as much as Alfred. I think Katyusha brought him once or twice before."

"Will they both be coming?"

"I don't think so. I don't even know if either will be coming." Ivan was actually disappointed at the thought. He had let himself get too excited over seeing his old friend again. _'Maybe he will come tomorrow,' _thought Ivan, _'and he'll bring the sunflower seeds he promised as penance. I'll still have to hit him for being late either way, heh heh.' _

Just then there was a loud **SLAM **against their front door. Ivan scowled, grabbing at a thick pipe that had been propped up against the wall. His mother closed the box she was working on slowly.

"Oww! Ow, ow, _**god**_, I hope they didn't hear that."

Ivan paused in confusion, before realizing who the voice on the other side of the door was. He opened the door to reveal Alfred, who was wheezing as he supported himself against the wall of the Braginsky house. "Alfred?"

Alfred grinned up at Ivan. "Hey there. _Told _you I would be the first to see you."

"Actually…"

"WHAT? Nobody else came, did they—"

"Heh. You were right. Come in, Alfred."

**NOTES : **I thought Faine would be a good middle name for Al because Faine=Joyful and that kinda fits, hmm? I'm pretty sure he would tell everyone else the F stands for Fantastic or Freedom or something heroic like that. xD I…feel a little bit better about this story. It's nowhere near the quality I would have wanted, but I don't feel as horrified as I usually would about putting it up. Also.. *flail* Apologies to those who can plainly see my ignorance of English grammar in this story. D: Thank you for even LOOKING at my story!


	3. Chapter tHrEe

AUTHOR NOTE : I believe in badtouch!trio, but I also believe in awesome!trio. _ Also Gregos = Denmark. Matthew&Alfred's mom = Lucy. Another thing, guys, I have had a pretty bad injury done to my left hand. It's healing well, but all this has been typed with my right hand. It takes a while to do that. ESPECIALLY WHEN FORMATTING. I promise you all I will update more, with longer parts, when it is completely healed.

_[posted Wednesday, 10:00]_

**!~GILBERT'S VIDEO BLOG OF AWESOME~!**

[The camera is shaky and out of focus. We see a blob reaching out towards the screen. Suddenly the picture is in focus, and we see the blob was in fact a pale white arm. A boy with pale white hair and red eyes scowls at the camera, mumbling something about people touching his things.]

"I'm gonna kill Ludwig. Using MY webcam to talk to his friend."

[. . .]

"Tonight we're packing it up and heading back to America. You bitches back home better have missed me!" [He grins widely at this.] "Because I miss you guys. Even you, Roddy! Of course, I didn't start to until after a few months in one of the greatest countries ever."

[. . .]

"I can't believe we're going to be starting school again. Such a drag. To make up for it—the minute I get home, I'm throwing a party."

[_"I don't want any part of your parties, not after last time." _Says a voice in the background.]

"With or without Ludwig's help."

_Comments:_

**pastapasta123: **u guys are going to be here soon? yay! i can't wait to see the both of you.

**axeovergun: **gonna be at ur house first thing, so be ready! it'll be a party.

**rosecensored: ** It will be great to have our Gilbert back.

**FryingPanCan: **are you sure you can't stay a bit longer there? lol.

_**Thursday, 21:00**_

"How was Ivan?"

Alfred forked another piece of pork into his mouth, looking across the table at Matthew. "He was good. I still can't believe I stayed over for so long."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I kept you up all day. So I decided to let you sleep instead of drag you off to a person you haven't talked to for years." America paused. "By the way, I almost forgot to mention, Katyusha has really. . .matured."

"Hmm?"

"Alfred," Their mother warned. "don't be vulgar."

"I wasn't going to say anything bad! It's just she has gotten big. Remember when we were little, Mattie? She was so tiny, quite unlike her huge bro." Alfred chuckled. "Natalya has gotten bigger too."

"How was Miss Braginsky?" Lucy asked, finishing up her dinner.

"Oh! She said she wanted to meet up with you sometime. She also said hi. Hey mom?"

"Yes, Al?"

"Next time I go to Ivan's, could I bring some of those sunflower seeds we have? He really likes them and wants to grow some. I thought it would be cool."

"You were going to take some anyway, right?"

". . .not without my loving mother's permission!"

Matthew scoffed.

Lucy nodded. "I'll send you with some next time you go over." She picked up her plate. "I'm going to head to my room, you two be good, okay?"

"Okay mom." The two boys said in unison. When Lucy left the room, Matthew studied Alfred curiously.

"When you say matured. . ."

"They're HUGE, Matt."

"Ah."

"You can go with me next time, She did ask me where little Mattvey was~"

Matthew chuckled, but then remembered something. "Hey, Al…"

"What?"

"I almost forgot to tell you." He said dryly. "Gilbert called. When he heard about where you were he went on and on about how you've betrayed him, and how Gregos and everyone else was there because they actually cared…"

"Ah, crap. I totally forgot he was gonna be home today."

"Are you going to call him back?"

"And hear about the party I missed? I'd rather not."

"Party?" A shadow passed over Matthew's face.

"Gilbert was going to throw a huge party to celebrate his coming home. He didn't tell you about it?"

"No…I guess I wasn't invited."

"Maybe he just forgot, Matt."

"Yeah, maybe he just forgot…"

"Besides, it probably wasn't even that great anyway. You want to go watch T.V? Mom's upgraded us, so we can order movies. I think I want to watch Kick-Ass!"

Matthew smiled. "Haven't you seen that movie already?"

"But I haven't seen it with you so it's like I'm watching it all over again!"

"If you say so, Al."

"I DO say so."

Matthew rolled his eyes and followed Alfred into the living room.


	4. Chapter FOUR! ooooh

AUTHOR NOTE: I hurt my foot. At least I can still type. Also, I've been getting strange calls from Lithuania. I answered once, and there was a voice speaking I guess Lithuanian [didn't know at the time] so I tried to explain that they had the wrong number. I hung up, and used their phone number to see where the call was from…Vilnus, Lithuania. Admittedly, I couldn't help but imagine a very confused Toris calling my number for some reason, haha! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter~ Also, can anyone think of a good name for Ivan's mom? Because I can't. AND ANOTHER THING this chapter has spoilers for the movie _The Last Exorcism_ Thank you all for reading! Also, please bear with grammar errors. I can't spot them worth a damn, but I try.

_**Friday, 03:00**_

Matthew didn't know what to think when, in the middle of one of his more pleasant dreams he was shoved violently to the side of his bed. This was followed by a large mass wrapping an arm around him and curling into his body, shivering. Moving to where he could get comfortable with this new nuisance, Matthew sighed.

"Hey." Matthew muttered groggily, swatting at the person next to him. "What the hell, Al?"

"Just go back to sleep, okay?" Alfred pressed closer against his brother. "It'll be like when we were little. So shhhh."

". . .you had a nightmare, didn't you."

"No. Maybe."

"You're actually shivering, Al. What was it about?" Trying to turn towards his brother, Matthew gasped when the arm around him squeezed harder. "Damn it Al, I can't breathe."

"Oh, I thought you were—trying to leave or something."

"You're lucky you're my brother." Matthew strained to see Alfred's face with the dim light from his alarm clock. "So what was it about, hmm? Tell me about it."

"I-" Alfred coughed. "You-"

Softly, Matthew ran a finger underneath Alfred's eyes only to feel that there was wet.

Even if Matthew had trouble mustering sympathy for someone who woke him up…he knew Alfred's nightmare had to have really affected him to have cried about it. "Take your time, okay?"

"We were…" Alfred paused, taking a few moments before continuing on, his voice thick. "We were having some party, or something stupid like that. I forgot what it was for." A small laugh. "Arthur announced that he and Francis were getting married."

"And later on in the dream we got our ice skates and headed to hell, right?"

Alfred smiled, and then scoffed. "No, but that would be an awesome suggestion if they ever do. Anyway, later on during the party there was this loud explosion. Stuff starts breaking through the roof, and it's _weird, _like helicopter parts and gocarts, and everyone starts freaking out.

So then I'm all 'Hey guys, we've got to get to safety,' like we were prepared for that sort of shit happening. I take everyone down to some underground safety bunker place and count heads. After that I saw that you weren't down there with us so I was like 'Oh shit, gotta go find Matt.'

Running back upstairs, I found out the house was completely wrecked. Like, seriously wrecked. The first place I checked for you was outside…and you were outside, sitting with your back turned. It was still raining wreckage and other things from who knows what, but I ran towards you and put my hand on your shoulder. Then, you said in this really strange voice, 'We're the only ones out here, huh?' That got me panicked so I grabbed your shoulder and tried to explain that we needed to go inside.

Your back looked fine, but your front…your front legs had been cut off by something, and your fingers, you were bleeding _everywhere _Matty."

Matthew patted the top of his twin's head. "I swear to you, if random things started falling from the sky, I would go inside, kay?"

"Hey, don't make fun of me." Alfred whined. "It was a scary dream."

"I know it was. However, I'm perfectly fine despite the dream. So, can I go back to bed?"

"This time" Another pause. "You know I'm staying in here, right?"

"I wasn't going to force you out or anything." Rolling over to his side, Matthew chuckled as Alfred hugged him again. "Good night." He muttered, pressing his head into his pillow. "Try not to have any more bad dreams, alright?"

"Need to have more dreams where I'm the hero, y'know? Those are nice."

"Good _night._"

"Okay, okay, Good night~"

_**Friday, 12:00**_

When Alfred woke up, he felt as if his body weight a thousand pounds. '_Ugh…maybe I can sleep for a few more minutes…' _He almost made the move to open his eyes until he heard people talking. _'Bwha?'_

"Look at him. Isn't he just _precious_? Makes me wish I brought a camera."

"Yeah, that little bit o' drool on his mouth is just adorable. And those…damn, he still has those Captain America boxers?"

"Probably stretched them out over the years."

"Nah, they're still the same size, I bet. Remember what a fatty he was when he was little?"

"Yeah, he looked like a giant marshmallow-"

"Oh, fuck you guys." Alfred snapped, throwing a pillow at Gregos and Gilbert.

Gregos dodged the pillow as if Alfred had flung a rock at them, letting Gilbert take the hit. "Is someone touchy about their weight?" He teased.

"I was a damn cute kid and you know it." Alfred insisted, getting off the bed.

"Fat kids can be cute." Gilbert commented, earning himself a 'playful?' punch in the stomach from Alfred. "God, didn't come to my party and the first thing you do is beat on me. What a dick."

"How did you get in?" Alfred questioned, going to rifle through Matthew's closet for a shirt to wear.

"Your brother let us in." Gregos chirped.

Deciding on one of Matthew's hockey jerseys, Alfred took it off the hanger and put it on, rolling up the sleeves. "I'll have to inform him later that he's a TRAITOR!" Alfred yelled.

Matthew, who was sitting on the couch eating America's honey as he watched T.V, wasn't too fazed by the accusation.

Gilbert eyed the jersey disdainfully. "Is that really what you're wearing?"

"Matt and I share clothes all the time."

"Whatever. So, you're going to take Gregos and I somewhere nice to make up for _forgetting _about my party. Hope you have money."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Of course, you have to black mail me with that. I'm sorry I missed your party. We'll be going to the movies to make up for it."

"Popcorn~!" Gregos cheered. "Drinks. I like that Dr. Pepper."

Wincing inwardly at how much money it would cost him, Alfred forced a smile. "Small drinks. Small popcorns."

Gilbert shook his head. "No, you're getting LARGE drinks. LARGE popcorns. Candy as well."

"I'm gonna end up spending all my money on you bitches." Alfred moaned.

"And we don't even put out!" Gregos said cheerfully, patting Alfred on the back. "Now go get your money so we aren't late for the movie."

"You…already decided what we would see-"

"Just go get your money."

Slumping out of the room, Alfred made a quick stop in the living room to glare at Matthew. "Traitor. Now I have to pay for the movies."

"Oh Al, you're so sweet for offering to take me!"

"Wha-"

"Unfortunately, I have plans later with Ismael, so no."

"Dick."

"Bye now."

_**Friday 12:30**_

"Now, you all three have enough money to watch whatever movie you like."

Ivan shifted, not really wanting to be left at the movie theatres. Katyusha had been the one to suggest going to see a movie, and his mother had been delighted at the idea. i"I need to go fill out some paperwork at my job,"/i She had told them. i"and the movie should last long enough so I can be finished by the time you all come out."/i Even Natalya liked the idea, so Ivan had no choice but to go along with it.

"I would give you all a kiss goodbye, but I don't want to embarrass my children already!" She gave them a sparkling smile, which Ivan tried to return. "Have fun!"

Ivan sighed as his mother drove away. Natalya tugged at his hand. "Brother?"

"Ah! Let's go get the tickets."

At the ticket booth Ivan really didn't have an idea of what any of the movies were about, but Katyusha seemed to recognize a few. "Oh, they have some scary ones."

"Let's watch 'The Last Exorcism'. It sounds interesting." Natalya eyed her siblings. Katyusha laughed, her chest bobbing dramatically with the motion [which drew a few male eyes towards them, Ivan noted. Hopefully it wouldn't be the same at school.]

"That one sounds scary. I'm going to be clinging to the both of you, I bet." She said cheerfully.

"Are the both of you sure you wish to watch that?"

"Yes, brother, unless you don't."

Ivan shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see why we wouldn't."

* * *

"_Here kitty kitty." On the screen, a white cat yowled, glaring angri__ly up at at the camera. Suddenly,the camera went down on the cat, striking it, beating it until the lens was smearing with blood._

"WHAT THE what the fuck the cat did she just—" Alfred gripped the armrest to where his knuckles turned white. "The poor cat!"

Gregos chomped on popcorn as he watched the movie. It never failed, Gregos thought bemusedly. Alfred could sit through a slasher flick so easily but if there was any mention of spirits in a movie he was curled up in fear the whole time.

* * *

"Man, I don't care, the minute that broad drew pictures of me with my head cut off I'd get the hell out of there." Gilbert commented, chewing on licorice bought courtesy of Alfred.

"We all know you wouldn't."

"Hey," Gilbert elbowed the pale faced Alfred. "The possessed chick kinda looks like Elizaveta, right?"

"GREGOS why didn't you tell me you were out of popcorn? I'll go get a refill, be right back." Gregos opened his mouth to protest before Alfred snatched his popcorn tub away. "I'll be right back."

"…wasn't finished."

Alfred shimmied down the theatre aisle, nearly falling over someone in the process. When he finally left the dimly lit theatre Alfred felt his heart rate calm. Slumping against a wall, he moaned to himself. "Ugh, they had to pick this movie of all things." He sat down and placed the half full tub of popcorn next to him. _'I almost don't want to go back in. Ah, but Gilbo would call me chicken shit-'_

"Alfred? Are you crying?"

Being jolted back to reality by his name, Alfred felt his face to make sure he wasn't crying. Then realized what a stupid motion that was. "No, just thinking."

"That's good. I thought perhaps something bad had happened."

"I'm fine, but thanks anyway-"Finally looking up, Alfred choked. "Ivan! I didn't—snap that it was you for a second. What are you doing here?"

"Watching a movie." Ivan said dryly. "Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Of course, duh." Alfred smiled brightly. "Ah, um, because. So what movie are you watching? Are your sisters here with you?"

"Yes. We're watching The Last Exorcism. It's interesting, even if it wouldn't have been my first choice. Plus, there is this person in the theatre that screams so loudly, as if they are the ones in the movie. It sounds very funny." Ivan mused. "What are you here seeing?"

"Same movie as you. Yeah, uh, I heard the person yelling too. Pretty funny."

The Russian boy smiled apologetically. "You don't do well with scary movies, do you Alfred?"

"I'm that obvious huh?" Ivan gave a small chuckle, which was answer enough. Alfred leaned against the wall. "Anything with spirits just…freaks me out, I guess. Probably why my friends made me take them to this movie. They love to see me squirm." Then: "You should probably get back to your sisters. Don't want to miss the movie, right?"

"Aren't you coming in as well?"

"I gotta get a popcorn refill."

"Okay. I'll walk with you, so you don't have to go back in alone."

"That's really…nice. Thanks for offering to accompany me, I guess." He really didn't know what to think about Ivan. He was a really great friend to Alfred, of course, they had been talking for years via internet, but seeing him in person again felt unsettling. "So, everything unpacked at your place yet? Or are there still towers of boxes everywhere?"

"We've gotten much more unpacked. My room has my belongings in it now. Soon it will even smell of home again."

"That's good." He shelled out the money for a refill to the concession stand, turning back to Ivan as he waited. "You know, I'm almost looking forward to school because of you."

"Really. Why is that?"

"Cause I'll get to show you off to everyone. Prove you exist and whatnot."

"...I don't quite understand."

"People like Gilbert and stuff make fun of me when I talk about you." Alfred babbled. "Because you've always been my internet friend, even though I KNOW they remember when we were little and you lived here. They said I wasn't really talking to you and was just making it up."

"You talk about me?" Ivan sounded surprised.

"Yes, of course. I give everyone updates on how you're doing and stuff like that. Did you think I didn't?"Alfred grabbed his refilled tub of popcorn as they began walking again. "You're like, one of my best friends."

The taller boy considered that for a few moments, deciding that it was…very nice to be thought of as a 'best' friend by Alfred.

"Hey, you aren't gonna say it back?" Alfred whined.

"Say what back? I don't know what you mean."

"That I'm one of your best friends too! Geez."

"I assumed you were aware." Ivan spoke truthfully.

". . ." Alfred nudged Ivan lightly. "I'm just messing with you, you know that, right? Course I know." At the theatre door, Alfred sighed dramatically. "It hasn't been long enough for it to be over. Guess I'll talk to you later?"

"Alfred."

"What?" He asked as he shifted the tub of popcorn to a different arm to open the door.

"You should come spend the night at my house this weekend."

"Sounds awesome. See you then."

"Are you ill, brother?" Natalya questioned, not looking away from the screen as Ivan sat back down in his seat.

"Ill?"

"You were gone for a very long time. I was going to go fetch you if you had taken any longer."

The mental image of Natalya barging into the men's restroom in search of him came into Ivan's mind. "It is very good that I did not take longer then."

At that moment, Ivan decided to wait until _later _to mention Alfred's arrival.

Just because.


	5. Chapter FIVE! shazam!

_**Satuday, 15:00**_

Lucy had told Alfred he could go to Ivan's house, but she wasn't driving him there. Which he thought kind of sucked, but at least she didn't say he couldn't go. Shifting the bag that had his overnight clothes in it, he wished he could have talked his mother into giving him a ride.

"If only I could teleport or something." He said to himself, taking his MP3 player out of his pocket. Both he and Matthew had matching MP3 players, but Alfred was hoping he would be able to buy his brother one of those ipods everyone had. At least one of them wouldn't be left out of the loop. "TELEPORT! Damn, didn't work."

He popped an earbud into his ear as he walked, smiling when the next song came on. _Forgot I even had that on here.. . _Dancing with the music, Alfred had more of spring to his step as he crossed the street, chuckling at a few looks he got. "Just a second it's my favorite song they gonna play, and I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh~" He sang intentionally off key just to bother everyone around.

"Stop calling, stop calling!" A person across the street sang back, nobody that he knew but Alfred beamed all the same.

"I don't want to talk anymore-" Alfred sang back.

"I left my head and my heart on the dance floor!" The girl giggled, giving Alfred a wave. He grinned back and continued on his way, continuing to dance and sway with the song. It was amazing how uplifted you could become by music.

"Oh lala, shake that ass boy!" A wolfish whistle came out of a nearby white car which made Alfred stop in his tracks.

"Thanks baby." Alfred batted his eyelashes comically, blowing a kiss at the car.

"Mmm, how about I take you to my place~? I'd love to pound you into—"

"Damn Francis, people will think you're serious." Giving a shy grin, Alfred ran up to window of the Frenchman's car. "What are you doing around here?"

"I was planning on paying one of my friends a visit. So Alfred, now I get to ask a question. What are you doing shaking your ass up and down the street, hmm?" A glint came into Francis's eyes when he added: "You heading to see a 'friend' as well?" And Francis put a special little emphasis on the word 'friend'.

"Yeah, but he's actually my friend, not someone I'm boning. I had to walk because mom wouldn't take me."

"Is he close by?"

"Yeah, about six blocks away."

"I'll give you a ride, get in." Leaning over to unlock the door, Francis flashed him a smile.

"Really…? That's suspiciously nice of you." Nevertheless, Alfred climbed in, giving Francis the address for Ivan's house. "Thanks, though. I didn't really want to walk the rest of the way."

"Yes, yes, it isn't a problem. I couldn't allow you to get any exercise, god forbid. You might lose that adorable chubbiness of yours."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

"Try both."

"Alright then. By the way, your breath smells very nice today. It doesn't have that usual penis scent."

"Ah, upset about being called chubby, Alfred?"

"No."

They drove up in front of Ivan's house. Ivan, who heard a car pull into the driveway, peeked out the window and smiled softly at the sight of his friend Alfred. "Ah, he might need help bringing his things inside…"

Alfred waved when he saw Ivan, and tried to unlock the door to leave. Francis pressed a button on the driver's side to simply lock Alfred back in again. "Um. Francis? I have to go."

"You forgot something, Alfred." Francis eyed Ivan's figure coming out from the house. "My goodbye kiss."

"…_Francis, _please open the door, don't do this. Ivan's right there."

"You won't get out unless you do."

"Francis," Alfred hissed, trying to open his door. "Francis, I swear to god,"

"Now you'll have to give me two."

Alfred glared at Francis, wishing Ivan hadn't of come outside. "FINE." Alfred gave two brief, hurried kisses to each stubble covered cheek.

"Was that so bad?" The doors locks clicked open, and Alfred sprang out of the car with his things. "How insulting. Bye Alfred! Have fun with your friend!" Alfred slammed the door shut and Francis drove away.

Ivan was very confused.

"Alfred? Who was that?"

"Francis."

"Ah." Ivan shifted awkwardly. "Why did you kiss him?"

Realizing that Ivan may had gotten the wrong idea, Alfred scoffed. "He was just doing that to be a prick. I would never—do anything with Francis. Besides, he and my cousin Arthur are totally hot for each other."

". . ." Deciding to write it off as some sort of strange joke, Ivan smiled. "Whatever you say, Alfred. Come inside, you can go put your things away."

_**Satuday, 16:00**_

"Are you serious?"

Natalya and Ivan stared back at Alfred, clueless.

"Ivan—oh come on, we made one together once, , ,"

"You're mistaken." It was fun for Ivan watching Alfred seem so frustrated, because he knew the boy was only being dramatic.

"Then we'll simply have to make another one. Natalya, Ivan, gather up all the pillows you can. I'll try to find some sheets."

When the 'supplies' were gathered, Alfred had them meet in the living room.

"Alright, I will now begin to show the both of you how to build a proper pillow fort." Stacking the pillows, Alfred began to hum lightly. "By the way, where is Katyusha off to? She hasn't found a boyfriend yet, has she?"

"Katyusha does not need a boyfriend." Natalya said evenly. "She is gone with mother to shop for clothes."

"Huh. Must be hard for her, on account of-"

"On account of what, Alfred?" Ivan cut in dryly, putting down one of the pillows for the fort.

"On account of the lack of any decent clothes! Last time I went to the mall, everything for the girls was stupid stuff like Twilight, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't enjoy the sparkly men."

_Close one, _Alfred thought sharply, relaxing when Ivan seemed to accept Alfred's answer. Natalya tugged on Alfred's sleeve lightly. "When will the fort be complete, Alfred?"

"It's done now, Natalya! If you would please pass me one of those sheets." The fort consisted of three walls, each four folded pillows high. Tossing the sheet over the top, Alfred appeared extremely pleased with himself. "We shall call it Fort Braginski, on account of it being on Braginski territory." Squatting down, Alfred crawled inside. "Alright, now you two come in~!"

Ivan, being swept up by Alfred's excitement, followed.

Natalya eyed the fluffy structure before crawling in, wondering how they would all fit. It didn't matter, she supposed. There was nothing wrong with being close to brother…

Having Alfred nearby wouldn't be that bad, either.

The fort was cramped. "These were roomier when I was little." Alfred admitted, shifting to where he could give the others room. "Still, it feels awesome to be in one."

"What did you use to do in the pillow forts?" Natalya questioned, pressing a hand against the walls.

"All sorts of games! Mattie and I would pretend to be kings, hold down the fort…I think the wildest one was the game where we were trying to defend ourselves against an onslaught of werewolves."

"You must have been quite creative as a child."

"Yep! We had to entertain ourselves somehow…"

Suddenly, Ivan felt a pressure in his lower stomach. He squirmed to try to ignore it, not wanting to leave quite yet.

"You have to pee or something, Ivan?" Alfred stared at him curiously.

"No, I-" Ivan was cut off by Alfred pressing down on his bladder with a triumphant grin.

"You were saying?" Alfred laughed when Natalya hit the offending arm. "Come on Natalya, don't act like I was killing him." The laugh died when Ivan stood up in the fort, the sheet which was once the roof covering his head. He pulled it off and glanced at Alfred bemusedly.

"How could you! The whole roof Ivan is gone, now Natalya and I will freeze to death!" Being the overly-friendly guy he was, Alfred hugged Natalya as he looked up with wide puppy eyes. "And all because you had to pee."

"Ha. Don't break anything while I'm in the restroom, Alfred."

When Ivan was gone, Alfred smiled widely at Natalya. "Hey, thanks for um, not hitting me over the head when I hugged you."

"You didn't grab what you shouldn't have." Natalya replied, which made Alfred silently be thankful that his hands had been in their proper places "Alfred."

"Hmm?"

"I want to show you something." With that, Natalya arose and went down the hallway. A bit confused, Alfred followed her all the way to her room. "Come in." The inside was colored with light blues and white, a very peaceful color scheme, Alfred thought.

"It looks good with everything finally set up."

Wordlessly, Natalya pulled a small box out from her closet. She set it down on the bed and gazed at Alfred. Assuming that was her way of saying _**LOOK INSIDE IDIOT **_he pulled off the top of the box. Inside there were knives of several different shapes and sizes…"What do you think?"

"Wow…you must have been collecting for a while! Is that a Valor knife?" Alfred whistled as he examined the blades. "Never would have took you for a knife girl. How many do you have?"

Natalya seemed pleased by Alfred's assessment, making him feel as if he had passed a test of some sort. "Thirty one so far. I'm hoping mother gets me another one for my birthday, but she says I should turn my attention to more womanly things."

"Womanly things like dresses? Aww, that sounds like a drag." Turning over one of the blades in his hand, Alfred examined the distorted reflection in the knife. "Maybe I'll pick you up a knife while I'm out."

"That would be nice."

From the doorway, Ivan watched the two of them for a few moments before making his presence known.

"How about we find a show on T.V?" He suggested, not liking the feeling of being left out.

"Alright! I saw commercials saying Spiderman would be on today~"

_**Saturday, 18:30**_

As much as he loved Matthew—and Alfred loved Matthew to a fault-Alfred always wondered what it would have been like it Matthew had been a Matilda. Watching Ivan talk with his sisters at the dinner table was interesting, and what brought up those thoughts in the first place. ". . ." _I mean, sure, I could still give the shotgun talk to some guys that Matthew fancies, but man, if Mattie was a chick, everyone would be all over that piece of ass. I'd have to beat 'em off Mattie with a stick.' _Daydreaming about Matthew becoming a girl, Alfred didn't realize he was being spoken to.

"Alfred!"

"Mm?"

"Mother just asked you if you were looking forward to school," Natalya informed, forking her dinner into her mouth.

"No! Even if summer is boring, it's better than school."

Ivan's mother chuckled, wagging a finger at Alfred. "You say that now, but later on in life you'll wish you could be in high school again."

"My mom says the same thing too! I doubt it anyway."

Ivan kicked Alfred under the table, to which Alfred burst out laughing.

"Man, that just reminded me, I have this joke about this traveler-"

"Alfred, do NOT tell that joke." Ivan ordered. "Unless you want your food all over your front~?'

"Is that a declaration of war, soldier?"

"Boys, don't get any food on the floor."

_**Saturday 23:55**_

In a bundle of blankets and sheets, Alfred was curled up on the floor of Ivan's room. He stared up at the ceiling, mind not tired in the slightest. Over on the bed Ivan was happily asleep, a problem which Alfred would soon remedy. Slowly, Alfred crawled to the side of Ivan's bed, staring at the sleeping boy with humor and a hint of unrest. He wanted someone to talk to.

The bed groaned as Alfred climbed slowly onto it, keeping watch for any quick movement from the Russian. "Hey." He shook Ivan's shoulder lightly. Ivan groaned and rolled to the other side of the bed in reply. "Wake up, Ivan."

Moonlight drifted in through the window, illuminating Ivan's face, making him appear to be unnaturally pale and delicate. Alfred made a mental note to tell Ivan to buy curtains.

"Ivan, wake up. Ivan…"

"I don't want anything right now." Answered Ivan in a surprisingly lucid voice, but Alfred knew better than to be deceived.

"Wake up, or I'll have to use drastic measures."

No answer.

Weighing the pros and cons of what he was about to do, Alfred decided that pros outweighed cons and began to tickle Ivan., who was jolted out of his sleep by the action.

"W-wh-" A strained smile came across Ivan's face as he tried to stifle laughter while Alfred probed his sides for ticklish areas. "What the hell? I was asl-Alfred, you'll wake my sisters up,, idiot." Ivan punched Alfred none-too-lightly in the stomach, which made the blond boy wheeze and fall off the bed. "Alfred? Alfred, I'm sorry, but-no, you deserve it for waking me up—don't pull that face with me, Alfred—are you okay?"

"You weren't getting up."

"If you think that's justification, you're very mistaken."

"I'll have bruises now. I can't wait to tell everyone how mean you are."

"You're the one that agreed to stay. What did you want me awake for anyway?"

"So I could have someone to talk to. That and you have your room temperature as freezing. I can't sleep."

"Thank you for making someone else share in your insomnia."

"No problem."

"Ugh…" Ivan sat up in his bed, rubbing at the corner of his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Minute till midnight. Want to make a wish?"

At the request, Ivan couldn't help but chuckle. "That's right. We…we did that as children."

"I thought only I remembered that! The midnight wish."

"Of course, I would have to make mine at a different time so we would be wishing at the same moment." Ivan added, remembering the trouble he had figuring out time zones at age eight.

"I remember I used to wish for you to come back after you left." Alfred reminisced, curling back up onto his blanket pile.

"I wished for you to come to Russia."

"Well, my wish trumped yours. That is, unless I'll be making some unexpected trips in the future."

"Ha."

A warm silence settled over the two as the last few seconds ticked away to midnight. Both made their own personal wish, something they wouldn't share until another time.

". . .Hey, Ivan."

Letting out a huge yawn, Ivan settled back into bed. "What?"

"I'm really glad I can see you in person now. Even if…if it is a little harder to come up with something to say to you."

"I am glad to see you as well."

"Just…yeah."

"You are a man of few words all of a sudden." Ivan joked, his eyes drooping shut slowly. "What is causing that?"

"I dunno. Sorry for waking you up."

"Why lie, Alfred?"

"Okay, so I'm not. Good night either way. No, good morning. Good morning, Ivan."

"Good morning Alfred." He said as he drifted back into sleep, going over his wish in the back of his mind.

* * *

AUTHOR NOTE: the kink meme is a monster that takes my time. Also because all the cool kids are doing it, the 25th review gets a oneshot with any AMERICA pairing of their choice. If that is worth anything coming from me. Thank you for reading. Next chapter will be them actually at school. .3.


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